He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
