They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
