we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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