Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
