Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
