Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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