ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
