I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
