you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
