its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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