you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
