I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
