just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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