I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
