So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
