The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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