with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
