that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
