I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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