I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Who put my cat in the fridge?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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