We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dignity is for republicans.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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