You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
