how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
