you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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