after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
