When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
