Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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