What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
