Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
