Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
