After last night, I could never be a politician.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
