my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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