After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
3 2 1 whiskey
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
