I never want to see another naked old woman again.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
