All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
