all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
