nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
