I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
