I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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