5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
