Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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