Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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