but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
