I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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