Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
