try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
