Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Come share oat with me in your robe
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
