she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
