I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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