there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
