its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
