cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
