you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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