I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
