It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
