all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
