This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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