i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
