I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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