Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize