I showed him my bush... on skype.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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