i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I fill condoms, not promises.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
