yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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