You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
