In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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