well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
