Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize