WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
